It Felt Like Bragging, So I Only Told My Husband

I told my husband that I was applying for a doctoral program and no one else. I felt scared but I also felt weird about pursuing that level of a degree. Why didn't I want anyone to know? To me, it felt like sharing this information was bragging and made me feel uncomfortable. I was torn. I was excited to begin my new journey, scared that technology for school had surpassed me. Not only was it scary, but the feeling that simply pursuing a degree to pursue a career that was always my first choice felt like I was trying on clothing that didn’t fit.

My parents graduated from high school but most of their siblings did not. To the best of my knowledge, out of my 40 first cousins, I had four first cousins that went to college. One received an associate's degree, two received a bachelor’s degree, and one received a master’s. I don’t believe that I found out about them attending college until after I attended community college, maybe later.

If I was accepted into the program, I had to come to terms with my new path. The longer I thought about it, the more I knew it was right for me. It would allow me to be in a career that would fulfill my passion of providing therapeutic mental health services to others. It would also open more doors for what I always thought of doing in my “real” retirement…teaching at a university. As the ideas swirled in my head, I waited for a response.